Are Local Singles the Only Ones Available?
Little can match the combination of excitement and terror as waiting for a plane to take off on the way to an initial long-distance date. Except, perhaps, for jumping out of the plane halfway there.
It was bound to happen sooner or later. Unlike some, I lacked the willpower to limit my e-mail to just the “local girls.” It was only natural that eventually we would reach a plateau — the point where there wasn’t anything to gain by continuing to write. We needed to meet in the flesh (figuratively, if not literally) to see if that elusive chemistry existed for real, or just in our imaginations.
Driving to a local restaurant to meet for dinner is a relatively simple proposition. Flying to a far-off city to do the same isn’t and one of the advantages of online dating is that you can easily meet people from all over the US or around the globe. For one thing, there are financial considerations. Fortunately, I stumbled onto the beginnings of the major airlines’ Internet clearance sales, and signed up. Each Wednesday would bring a slew of heavily discounted fares for that weekend (the seats which they are guessing will otherwise go empty). And, I’d anxiously plow through them to see if a particular city combination was in there. Eventually, bingo!
Then there’s the matter of etiquette. One isn’t committing to two hours for dinner, but two days of . . . whatever. The big question, of course, is where will one be sleeping. Alright, the big question may be “with whom” will one be sleeping, but “where” is right up there. Me, I usually opted for a hotel (whether I was visiting her, or vice-versa). Call it an overdeveloped self-protection instinct. Best to make a reservation and have that option open just in case you hate each other on sight. Or, more likely, realize early on that there isn’t quite as much in common as you thought. Should things work out considerably more pleasantly, with most hotels you can cancel before 5-6:00pm. And if passion doesn’t strike until later in the evening, you and your newfound sweetie can always take advantage of the pay-per-view channels and the Magic Fingers.
Except in a major city, it can’t hurt to have arranged to rent a car. Weekend rates make it quite reasonable. Again playing devil’s advocate, should things not work out you’re not trapped alone in a hotel room for two days. Solitary pay-per-view and Magic Fingers do wear a little thin after a while.
Recommendation? Go for it! Look at it as an adventurous weekend vacation. And if the magic strikes (not the Magic Finger kind), it just could be a vacation which lasts for a lifetime. See our reviews to find the right dating site for you.
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Keep Dating Safe Online and Off
We’ve all heard stories in the news about the dangers of dating online and many dating sites are touting safety as part of their allure. While media often wants to blame the Internet when a tragedy happens between two people who met online, if the same tragedy were to happen between two people who met in person they would never blame the church or the school where they met. Ultimately it isn’t where we meet that is the problem, it is the amount of wisdom we use once we have encountered each other.
The good thing about these media stories is that they have raised our awareness about dating safety issues online and off. We have learned from online dating that there are some behaviors that are wiser than others. While the huge majority of people dating are normal, nice people looking for a sweetheart just like you are, there are a few who are not. A little conscious care can make your dating experiences much more enjoyable!
Safe dating requires that you use your head, take your time and pay attention! While these guidelines are written to keep you safe in the online dating arena, they apply equally well to face-to-face meetings.
- Keep Private Information to Yourself
Keep private information about yourself confidential until after you have met and are confident that the other person is someone to whom you want to tell personal details. Withhold specific information that could lead the other person to you physically. Be aware that this kind of information can accidentally be revealed over the course of time maybe in one email you share the town you live in. In another email you share the name of the company you work for, followed by another email with the specific job you hold at that company. Over the course of several emails, the other person knows a lot about you. Think ahead about which information you don’t want to share and be careful not to share even parts of it at a time. - Use On-site Messaging Services
Keep your personal phone number or email private use your on-site email and phone services. There are plenty of porn and other spamming businesses that would like nothing more than to get your personal email so they can start sending you propaganda. If a person asks you for your email, especially without responding to anything that you have said personally, dont give it out! You have a mailbox and address on the site specifically to protect your personal email from this kind of unethical behavior. While giving out an unlisted phone number may seem reasonable, you need to be sure that your number isnt listed on reverse search features on the Internet. Try typing your phone number into the search field on various servers and see what comes up. In some cases, not only will your name and address pop up, but also a map to your house! If you want to hear the other persons voice, use the phone service on the site. - Ask to see more pictures
We all have a multitude of pictures of ourselves. Ask to see several pictures in order to see a wider variety than a glamour shot. Also, if someone is posting a picture of someone else they will have a hard time producing several pictures of the wrong person (unless they are using a personal friend or family members picture.) - Ask Questions
Ask questions and watch for consistency and inconsistency. Someone who is deceptive will often trip over their own lies with inconsistencies. Pay attention to what they have told you. Ask different questions about the same topic over the course of a few emails. Watch for little red flags or comments that cause you to question the wisdom of meeting in person. - Don’t Forget - They’re Still a Stranger!
Remember, until you meet, you are still strangers. Keep in mind that while it may seem like you know someone you’ve been talking with online it may even seem like you know him/her better than anyone you’ve ever met you truly don’t know them until you’ve spent some time together. Use the Internet to establish that you want to meet not that you want to get married! - Become a Paid Member
Being a paid member flags to other people that you are serious about finding love. Due to the paper trail, married people posing as single and teenagers pretending to be adults are less likely to be paid members and creepy people are less likely to pay to be creepy when they can do it for free. In addition, being a premium member allows you to start off by asking important questions and initiating stimulating conversations. - Meet Safely and Wisely
When you meet in person which whenever possible I recommend you do within the first few weeks to a month of dialoging do so in a public place, during the daytime. Tell a friend where you are going and what you know about who you are meeting with. - Be Responsible for Your Own Transportation and Finances
While it is always nice if someone pays for your coffee, drink or dinner, it should not be expected especially on a first meeting before you even know whether your meeting is a date or not. While it may seem like a normal date to get in the other persons car to travel together, refrain from doing so until you have met and have had time to assess your comfort. - Trust Your Intuition
We have an amazing ability to perceive. If you feel like something isn’t right, pay attention. If you feel in your gut that everything is okay, pay attention to that, too.
While all this talk of safety may seem intimidating, it is really just common sense for any dating situation. We all know people who have met their sweet hearts online, so use your head as you safely follow your heart to love.
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My Online Dating Service Didn’t Work
Most online dating services are open to nearly anyone who wants to try them, but the overall success rate of people finding a lasting relationship is less than 10%. So if this is such a great way to meet people, why is there such a high rate of failure when using online dating services?
Society
The first thing that you have to keep in mind is that for the last 20 years, as we have evolved as a society (for better or worse) we have become obsessed with having as many choices as possible. We have over 200 channels on TV and there is never anything we want on, but when there were only 10 channels, people always found something to enjoy. You can pick from over 100 different cell phones to help you stay connected to the world, dozens of internet service providers, and the list goes on. In short, we have become the pickiest generation in existence. With all these choices it is very easy to lose the forest for the trees. When you dive head first into one of the over 300 online dating services sites on the web you need to remember that nobody is perfect. Everyone there will have a listing of qualities, physical attributes, income (sometimes), interests and a bunch of other stuff that in the past people didn’t know about until they already started to develop a relationship with them. If you are so inflexible that you will dismiss any potential match who is not perfect in every single way than you are destined to be very lonely for a very long time.
Carelessness
There is almost nothing worse than getting passed over by a potential date because your profile is filled with careless errors. When your potential date reads your profile and finds it full of spelling errors and poor grammar, you can almost guarantee rejection. By not checking for these stupid and easy to fix problems with your online dating service profile you look a lot less intelligent than you are and also that you don’t really care about meeting someone because you didn’t even put in the effort to read what you wrote before you posted it on the online dating service site. I mean what woman is going to want a man who is looking for an intelligent lady when they can’t even spell intelligent?
Your best bet to solve this problem is to cut and paste the text of your profile into a word processing program and run a spell and grammar check. This will help with the glaring mistakes. But you might still miss some incorrect words like if you typed “form” when you mean to type “from.” If you are still not sure about your profile, there are several professionals on the net who will be happy to help you make the most of your online dating service.
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Advantages of Online Personals
Personals at online dating sites are the internet’s equivalent of a singles bar with personality. At there most basic level online personals are giant databases of people’s pictures and backgrounds that you can scan through like you would scan the faces at a bar. There are a lot of advantages to trying online personals compared to a singles bar. First of all it is convenient. The places you will normally go to meet people are only available to you at certain times and every place you go may only have one or two hundred people of the opposite sex for you to pick through. With online personals all you need is an internet connection and the ability to read. The sites are open 24-7 and are filled with thousands if not millions more people than you would have met if you went out for the evening.
Secondly is attire. When you go to a bar you’ve got to look sharp as Joe Jackson used to say. If you don’t look just right when your eyes meet up with those of the babe or beau at a bar, you can forget about the wedding, hell, you won’t even make it to the first date. For online personals you don’t need make up or cologne and best of all, you can wear whatever you like. You can even be naked if you want, but if it’s hot out and your computer chair is leather, you may want to at least throw on some underwear.
One of the biggest advantages that people think of when they go into online personals is that you no longer have that moment of terror where you slowly approach that person who has caught your eye in hopes that they might see in you what you saw in them and not shoot you down like a wounded duck. This is true, to a point. You don’t have to walk up to someone and ask them out through online personals. You have the personal barrier of email in-between you. This is great if you are a little low in confidence, but it can backfire on you. Many people put up a personals profile and wait for people to contact them. It can be a much greater rejection when millions of people decide not to email you compared to striking out once or twice in person. Also if you are sending emails to people on your favorite online personals site, you have to remember that the need for tact is not a necessity on the net. While in the real world a person may shoot you down and say thanks but no thanks, or possibly something less tactful, their attitude on an online personals site may be to just delete your message without replying, leaving you hanging and with no feedback from them at all.
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Matchmaker
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| www.matchmaker.com |
MatchMaker is a dating site that focuses on local dating down to the city/town level. The site usually has 6,000 members online at any given time which is about half of other sites providing this data. The demographics of the members skew towards a larger percentage being women with almost 80% of all members being above the age of 35. Matchmaker is priced lower than many other dating services, especially if you sign up for a 12 month subscription.
Matchmaker.com Monthly Costs
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Filed Under Online Dating Sites | 2 Comments
Chemistry.com
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| www.chemistry.com |
Chemistry is a sister site of Match.com, designed especially for people who are actively seeking meaningful, long-term relationships.
What’s different about Chemistry? The belief that meaningful relationships are built on two equally important foundations: compatibility and chemistry. Other sites may help you find out if you’re compatible, but Chemistry’s system is designed to help you find both of these essential elements.
Chemistry.com Monthly Costs
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