The Big Bad Lie in Online Relationships

If I had a penny for every lie I’ve heard and have experienced from the dysfunctional people out there online, I’d be rich - and you wonder why some people think online dating doesn’t work.

I was watching a really flash-n-trash talk show the other afternoon, a show I NEVER watch because it takes away from my computer time, and after watching the ludicrous people on there it dawned on me that there are many of us who have been lied to online. Ladies and gentlemen, there is a sisterhood and brotherhood of those of us who have been manipulated in online Space. Don’t despair–you are not alone!

Let’s take a glimpse at the lovely, happy couple who appeared on the show: we had the 20 something married couple with 2 kids from the Mid West. Hubby was involved online with Older Lady from Michigan who didn’t know he was married. Real-life wife reads in horror and shock the e-mails that hubby wrote to online lady–yeah, they had Lady from CA as the SURPRISE guest. (Lady from MI brought her loud mouthed, obnoxious friend–and WHY was she there? No reason but to act as mediator and chew out Jerko Hubby). The rub was that Hubby was going to meet Lady from Michigan at a MOTEL and gasp, he had even talked to her kids on the phone and gasp, told her the three little words, I love you!

Are you shocked? Was I shocked? NO WAY! This is the long-running scenario that happens time and time again with the Lying Freaks on the Net. They may have a few different twists and turns but unfortunately the end result is the same: someone always gets hurt.

You say, “But, it’s only online SPACE!! No one takes these online relationships seriously.” Ahhh, gather ’round closer, my online pals, and let’s take a look at the common excuses as to why the BIG BAD LIE was told (these are actual quotes that have been told to me and my other friends online):

“Yes, I’m married but my marriage is on the rocks and we’re getting a divorce.” (Translation: I’m married and will remain married and never plan to divorce my wife because I have a stylin’ house in the ‘burbs and my wife would take me for everything I’m worth and my BMW would get impounded, and there goes the summer house in the Poconos, and then there’s my boat…..)

“Ah, my boyfriend(girlfriend) and I are having problems.” (Translation: I am not having sex now and I need your online bod now!! )

“I lied to you about my true identity and my name really isn’t (so and so) and the fact that I have a live in girlfriend is of no consequence, because for all intent and purposes, I am single.” (Translation: I’m a long-winded grad student who is utilizing the art of his B.S. (as in Bull**** not his degree) for the sake of hot online sex and cannot think of a better excuse because I used all my other lines on the dippy, nubile co-ed I tutor, who also lies to her real time boyfriend about her online lover and the vicious cycle goes on and on….).

“I love you and I never meant to hurt you.” (Translation: for both men and women–Come on, baby, just call me and let’s have phone sex . . . come ‘on you know you want me . . . your online loins are aching for some one on one voice! Use that phone card number I sent you — just do it, babe!)

“I have never wanted you more in my entire Life than I want you right now!” (Translation: I’m incredibly excited by your online moans and groans, and this is the most action I’ve gotten since my ex-wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend dumped me on my sorry butt!)

“I am going through some rough times in my life and I could use a friend.” (Translation: I’m not getting any lovin’ at home)